新聞稿

We're here in Kitchener in front of general manager Nathan 'Ketch' Hoel's single detached pseudo-residential mansion. He has called this press release spurt of the moment and much of the local press has gathered here to find out what he is going to say.

We have been waiting for almost half an hour now but we have heard no word yet. We were thinking we might hea -- wait. Okay. Yes. It looks like Nathan Hoel has just stepped out of his home and is headed to the mic.

*silence goes over the crowd*
*Nathan Hoel clears his throat*

Mr. Hoel, why have you called us all here?
...
"Canucks357. Scott93. And Saint2e, just because."
...
"You are all spooty heads. Thanks, no further questions."

You heard it here first!

Cara Lincon signing off

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