新聞稿

Well everyone. As you may have noticed, the team of ruffians; Mean Machine, has a new name and look. Now known as the Wallaceburg Walking Dead, they look to tear apart the competition. Quite literally too.

After almost two seasons of being located down river from Curium-244 Place; home of the Ontario Alpha Particles, the members and staff noticed a change in their demenor and appearance. It is no secret that their field was built on an illegal nuclear waste dump site. but what people didn't know was manager Canucks357 was actually drilling the waste up. And using it instead of a water line to fluch the stadiums toilets, wash the stadium, run the showers and fill up sodas at the concession stand! Explaining why they do not need any floodlights, since the players and fans all glow in the dark!

But the run off into the water supply had a different effect on the machine, turning them into soulless, flesh eating monsters. Team captain Ron Jesmer had this to say about the recent changes, "BRAIIINSSSS!!!" before disembowling and eating the first reporter he got his hands on. So with these changes, manager Aowyr hopes the season winds up better than forecast. Perhaps striking fear into their opponents, resulting in many forfeits. manager Aowyr had this to say about the future of his bright, young, certainly undead stars, "They're eating her... and then they're going to eat me... OH MY GODDDDDDD!!!". he then fled in his corporate helicopter.

That's it for this reporter. Signing off and saying goodnight and go.... what. What do you guys want? Don't you have a practice to do? Wait what? Brains? I don't know what you guys mean? What are you doing? Stop that. Guys, stop fooling around, i have to get home. Guys? GUYS? OH Gwaaaaaaaahh...............

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